Interviewer:
Hi, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Garima:
My name is Garima, and I came to the U.S. about 22 years ago. I’ve been here for a long time.
Interviewer:
Okay, thank you. So, to start off, have you had any issues with negative body image or have you seen any of your family members or close friends struggle with that? Obviously, if you’re not comfortable sharing, that’s completely fine.
Garima:
Yeah, I’ve seen it. It’s interesting, though, because what is body shaming? For me, personally, it wasn’t about obesity or anything. But I’ve seen it a lot in my family, where a lot of my cousins or my friends were affected by it. You know, they were at a gathering, and people would say, “Oh my God, you eat so much” or “Look at your weight.”
For me, it wasn’t that, but I’ve been teased for being a vegetarian, as if it’s related to wanting to lose weight. It’s like a snarky remark. In my head, I was thinking, “I never knew being vegetarian could be mocked like that.” People would make comments about me not eating certain things, like sweets, and say, “Oh, you don’t eat this because you want to lose weight, right?” But I just don’t like sweets—I prefer salty food.
But still, people would comment on it. It wasn’t about losing weight, it was just my preference, yet people focused on it and started commenting without even knowing me. It’s like they didn’t get it.
Interviewer:
That’s a really good point, and it’s definitely microaggressions. Do you think this kind of body shaming is just about insecurities that others project onto you?
Garima:
Yeah, I think the people who bully or make these comments are just reflecting their own insecurities. For example, someone might comment on the fact that I’m a vegetarian, saying I’m doing it to lose weight. They project their own thoughts onto me. It’s like they see someone getting two school lunches, and they’ll say, “You really shouldn’t be eating that second lunch” because they’re worried about how they’re being judged, so they start judging others.
Interviewer:
That’s really insightful. How did this affect you, and how did you deal with it?
Garima:
It took me a while to process. I used to think, “Why am I the one being talked about? Why am I the one who’s the subject of these remarks?” But over time, I realized it wasn’t about me. It was about their own insecurities coming out. I had to stop taking it personally.
When I came to the U.S. and started fitting in as an immigrant, I experienced another kind of body consciousness, especially in professional environments. Being Indian, I never used to wear traditional Indian attire to work. When I wore a mangalsutra, I was asked, “What is this? What’s that fancy thing?” It became a topic of gossip, and I started feeling self-conscious.
Eventually, I stopped wearing my jewelry, which I now regret. Over time, I realized I should embrace my culture, and now I’m more confident about wearing it. It was a process, but I’ve learned to accept who I am.
Interviewer:
That’s so empowering. I love how you’re embracing your culture again. I also really appreciate your perspective on body shaming. It’s not always just about fat shaming—comments about your body, in general, can be harmful.
Garima:
Exactly. It doesn’t have to be about fat-shaming. It can be about any remark about your body. People really need to broaden their understanding of body shaming.
And when you come from a different culture, especially as an immigrant, it’s easy to feel like you don’t fit in. I’ve also seen this with my brother and me. He’s of a darker complexion, and I’m fairer. Growing up, we faced some remarks in the family, especially from others about the way we looked.
I used to feel bad for my brother, but I also felt bad for myself because I was being compared. It didn’t make me feel any better—it made me feel worse. I started thinking, “Why are they treating me differently?”
It’s really tough when you’re young because there’s no way to talk about it with your sibling. But I did tell him, “Forget about it,” though I think we were both affected by it.
Interviewer:
I really understand what you’re saying. In Indian culture, there’s a lot of respect for guests and elders, but at times, it can create an environment where these issues aren’t addressed. Even when you try to tell your parents, they might say, “Forget about it” and tell you to respect others. But it creates this rift and insecurity that isn’t good for anyone.
Garima:
Exactly. When we went to LA once, someone made a remark about my brother having pimples, and when we told everyone, they said, “Forget it. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” But that’s the problem. Kids won’t express their feelings, but they internalize it. It creates an inferiority complex in them, and we should never be doing that.
It’s a difficult issue to navigate, especially in a culture where speaking up is discouraged. But it’s important to address it.
Interviewer:
That’s such a valuable perspective. What message would you like to give to future generations about body shaming and how to deal with cultural and societal norms?
Garima:
I think it’s important to be more conscious and intentional. A lot of times, people make jokes, thinking it’s harmless, but it can have a lasting impact on someone’s life. We need to be more aware of the impact our words can have.
If you see someone being body shamed, be their ally. Encourage them to speak up and stand up for themselves. A lot of times, people who are body shamed don’t speak up, and we need to support them.
For example, I still get comments about being a vegetarian and not going to happy hours at work, but I know people are just making snarky remarks. It’s important to stand by people, understand their culture, and respect it.
Interviewer:
I really appreciate your insights, Garima. I love the points you raised, especially about culture, body shaming, and how we can support each other in breaking those cycles.
Garima:
Thank you! It’s a difficult topic, but I think it’s important to talk about. Everyone deserves to feel accepted for who they are.
Interviewer:
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us today.
Garima:
Thank you. It was a good conversation.