Dazedly, I stumbled to the bathroom. As I gazed into the mirror, my reflection seemed foreign.Without fully understanding why, I gathered my hair and tied it into a messy ponytail. Before I knew I was trying to get myself to vomit. I was momentarily puzzled by my own actions. While the experience was unpleasant, I vividly recall the feeling of emptiness being strangely and absolutely wonderful. The more weight I lost, the more isolated and despondent I became. Binge eating felt like a relentless demon, one that clawed and scratched my brain to be fed. It kind of was my way to cope with anxiety.
But with time, I began to understand that it wasn’t the act itself but the power of my mind that brought about that feeling.Every time the urge to eat uncontrollably struck at me, I tried to divert my thoughts, searching for a distraction or an alternate focus. Recognizing the depth of my struggle, I also sought professional guidance and consulted a doctor.
Please, if you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or any kind of self-harm, seek professional help. It’s important to talk to someone about it – whether it’s friends, family, or a medical professional. They can provide support and resources to help navigate through these challenging times.
